By: Melissa Bergmann
Editor’s note: Names have been changed for the privacy of those interviewed.
Society paints pictures of Greek life on a college campus as a never-ending series of parties, dances and other social events. Guy meets girl. Girl meets guy.
But that’s not reality for some fraternity and sorority members.
In fall 2018, 16 percent of Murray State undergraduates are affiliated with a Greek organization, according to the Murray State website. That 16 percent is comprised of 24 organizations that are categorized into Interfraternity Council organizations, Panhellenic Council organizations, and National Pan-Hellenic Council organizations. A smaller, often forgotten, part of that 16 percent, are the LGBTQ+ members of Greek organizations.
Recruitment
Kimberly Newbern, MSU’s Coordinator of Greek Life and Student Leadership Programs, said MSU has a policy that does not discriminate against sexual orientation or gender identity, and each of the 24 organizations are in line with that policy.
But Jason Williams, a gay male who was not “out” when he joined his IFC fraternity, said he feels being openly gay would’ve affected his recruitment process.
“There was this feeling that they wanted me to be a guy that got a lot of girls,” Williams said. “They wanted me to be apart of their lifestyle. They wanted girls at their parties and if I didn’t contribute to that they wouldn’t appreciate that.”
Austin Roberts, an IFC fraternity member, also did not openly talk about his sexual orientation during recruitment for fear of not receiving a bid from any organization due to being gay.
Lauren Smith, an openly gay Panhellenic sorority member, said members of her current organization reassured her that no one would care about her sexual orientation during sorority recruitment, but she still did not feel comfortable discussing her sexuality.
“I had a promise ring at that time because my ex-girlfriend and I were engaged, but I was so nervous that I didn’t wear it at all during recruitment,” Smith said.
Membership
Being a gay member of a Greek organization in a small Western Kentucky town like Murray, Kentucky can be hard for some people. Often times one’s Greek brothers’ or sisters’ ideals do not match up with your own.
“There’s some people that are more accepting about it and some that don’t talk to me anymore,” said Williams, about how his experience in Greek life has been since coming out. “I feel like usually a lot of them are just nice to me and friendly. They don’t want to be my best friend though.”
Others have found their organization to be supportive as a whole.
“I’ve actually had a very positive experience in greek life, and I haven’t received any backlash for my sexuality,” Smith said. “[My organization] has never had an issue with bringing a same sex partner to formal or other events.”
The Hardest Parts
Although all members interviewed said they’ve had plenty of positive experiences, they each had their own share of challenging experiences during their time in Greek life.
“Hearing my brothers say f*ggot [has been the hardest part],” Williams said. “They don’t call me it or say it to me, but they’ve said it while I’m around before. It’s like when a black person hears the n-word, it just hurts.”
Roberts said some fraternity events, like formals, are different for him than they are for his straight brothers.
“I would absolutely not feel comfortable enough to bring a boyfriend to formal,” Roberts said. “Not at this point in my life because I don’t know how people in Western Kentucky would act.”
Moving Forward
As the times change, the western Kentucky area and MSU must change with it. Newbern thinks more steps will need to be taken in the future, especially with the growing amount of transgender students.
“With fraternities being historical for accepting individuals born as males and sororities being historical for accepting those born as females, national organizations are now starting to change the inclusive language in their policies,” Newbern said. “It is a slow process, but it is in the works.”
This inclusive language is already being applied at MSU. Panhellenic Council’s policy for no alcohol or interacting with a romantic partner during recruitment has always had the slang term of “no booze, no boys,” but this past fall the term was changed to “no booze, no boos” to be inclusive of sorority members who are not heterosexual.
“That is so politically correct,” Smith said. “People don’t realize little things like that are super awesome.”
Roberts said IFC is changing with the times as well.
“It has gotten better with IFC,” he said. “I feel like IFC pretty much knows that it’s a universal concept that you can have gay members, trans members, and non-gender conforming members.”
Currently each MSU student is required to complete Title IX, but some students feel more should be done going forward.
“Right now [administration] needs to focus on their top priority of not having dangerous drinking situations and hazing,” Williams said. “There’s not a huge LGBTQ+ community in Murray for them to be worried about, but I feel as time goes on and people get more open to it, they’ll have to do more about it.”
“I think workshops where [Greek organizations] could pair up with the LGBTQ+ program here would be beneficial,” Smith said.
The depiction of a stereotypical fraternity man or sorority woman in society may never change, but Greek organizations can change how greek brothers and sisters are treated by using inclusive language and having open minds.